Pappa wants mamma naked
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
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On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
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she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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