Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
