I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
apparently the secret to your success is patron
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
