Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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