Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
