I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
