i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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