well I can't set my house on fire every night
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
