My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The ass gains better be worth it
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