I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
