member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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