Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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