You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize