now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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