yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
