my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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