I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
