and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
