Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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