i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
