'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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