If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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