I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
