yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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