Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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