So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
