We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
