I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Vodka?
Forever.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
