One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
