i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
