I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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