my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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