I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
3 2 1 whiskey
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
