i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
