Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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