I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
