Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
babies were throwing up all over the place
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
