do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
