A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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