Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
