This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
