I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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