why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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