Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Randomize
