it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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