Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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