She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
