u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
