My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
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He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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