Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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