My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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