am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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