Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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