He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
