I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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