addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
