so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
