is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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