I think i peed on brittanys purse
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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