Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
