Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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