I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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