last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she told me i tasted like america
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
