so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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