then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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