We're like a lot better than the average bears
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
