My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
