There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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