dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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