I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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